I am a product of my product. I have lived it and learned from it, and my greatest desire is to share the life I now live because of it.
Through my own experiences, I have discovered that one of my greatest gifts and passions is seeing people in the fullness of their potential and helping them to see it as well. More than a mentor, I feel like I am a “partner in growth,” because along with my educated perspective I, too, am doing the work! I won’t ask anyone to do anything that I haven’t done myself. That is how I know this process works!!
My experience and education, along with my faith-based perspective, is what makes me unique. I offer myself as a servant leader and facilitator of your process. http://carymacarthur.com
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’
‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.
‘I don’t much care where -‘ said Alice.
‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.
– Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
So… where are you going?
David Cameron Gikandi, author of A Happy Pocket Full of Money, says “Only by declaring your purpose and holding it high every day can you move forward quickly in the right direction for you.”
What is your purpose?
I think the first step is realizing that you DO have a purpose. You may or may not know it yet. You can discover it by asking yourself and by being true to your heart. Sit quietly and find it. And “don’t insult that which is guiding you by aiming too low,” because something WILL guide you.
“Don’t insult that which is guiding you by aiming too low.” – Sandra Yancey
One of my favorite mentors, Sandra Yancey, said that to me, and I love it. It reminds me that I am being guided; it also reminds me of how much I am worth, and I’m worth a lot; we all are. But it’s way too easy to forget that as we go through our lives and fall into habits and routines that are beneath us. There is a reason it’s not good enough to only live life day by day, and that’s because we all want to become the biggest and fullest manifestation of ourselves that we can be. We are progressive beings! It is in our nature to want to be the best that we can be.
And still, we tend to forget…
David Gikandi continues, “Purpose…is what you, your Self or soul, choose to come here to do on Earth—a choice based on your soul’s attributes and wishes.”
In my own journey, I have come to equate “finding my purpose” with “finding my voice,” which is also a metaphor for finding myself.
Why is it important to find your purpose?
I remember one day, I was working at the computer, watching my kids play, and I realized I didn’t know who I was anymore. The words that I had recently read at my daughters’ dance studio came flooding back to my mind.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
I felt compelled to help my kids find their individual passions and to support them in whatever they chose, no matter the cost, but I had lost my own passion for life. I had given all I had to my family but had neglected to keep my own fire lit. I had forgotten who I was, what I enjoyed, why I existed–and, although I loved my family with all of my heart and soul, I had nothing left to give them except a robotic shell of the woman I once had been.
The words …‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world…” brought me to tears. My playing small wasn’t serving the world, nor was it serving my family. In fact, even with all of the effort I put into serving my family, my relationship with my kids was growing more and more distant. I knew I needed to find myself again.
How do you find your purpose?
For me, it started with a personal development retreat where I was thrown out of my comfort zone. I was challenged to tap into my vulnerability and to do something that scared me, and it woke me up. I hated the exercise—I hated feeling exposed, letting everybody watch me be scared and uncomfortable and incompetent—and the feeling that came after doing it was incredible. I vowed to keep feeling that.
Liberating myself from my fear of the light inside of me helped me to discover my purpose. I was tired of feeling invisible and like I didn’t have a voice in my own life, so I set an intention to step through that fear by doing things that scared me every day—and as I did that, I began to notice a pattern of growth, certain fundamental steps that repeated themselves as my purpose became more clear to me, and following my own “Five Fundamental Steps to Finding My Voice” has moved me further than anything else I have done.
Five Fundamental Steps to Finding My Voice
- V – finding Value in myself
- O – being Open to learning and trying new things
- I – setting an Intention to move forward and then acting on that intention
- C – Clearing false beliefs and fears out of my subconsciousness by replacing them with new awareness
- E – reinforce my new beliefs by Expressing them every day
By following these steps every day, stepping out of my comfort zone and letting myself be seen, I am gaining an appreciation—a love, even—for who I AM! As a result, my relationships are stronger than they have ever been! I am able to be a better wife, mom, grandma, daughter, sister, friend…and that is my greatest purpose!
- Alice-in-Wonderland.net. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.alice-in-wonderland.net/resources/chapters-script/alice-in-wonderland-quotes/
- eWomenNetwork. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.ewomennetwork.com/page/meet-our-ceo
- Gikandi, D. C. (2014). YouTube. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZBSIBZAo7E
- Marianne.com. (2017). Retrieved from http://marianne.com/